I mean that in a sarcastic way. I think. You've caught me in the throes of my bad season, or maybe at the end of it. I'm not sure yet. Bit of background for you.
On May 17, 2005, I miscarried my first child, a daughter, Riley Grace, at home. In our kitchen. I have no words for the kind of loss and loneliness I felt.
On May 17, 2006, I gave birth to a healthy little girl. Ella Rhiannon. She'll be three on Sunday. Her sister would've been four.
Welcome to the bad season. I'm not usually this short with my words, nor am I usually this sad.
Couple the fact that I am three days out from both my little girl's third birthday and the worst day of my life...AND the fact that a 'friend' told me "I can't wait until this Sunday is over...then you can start acting normal again," and you've got the exact reason for this blog.
Ugh.
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Hey You,
ReplyDeleteThat "friend" was no such thing sweetie. You have a RIGHT to miss your daughter. I would to hve loved to meet her here on this earth but I'll see her one day when I see my Sarah! Their up there together wondering why their mommy's are so sad!
Jessica, NC
Somehow, we manage to make it thru these trying stressful days. Yesterday was one of mine. Jamin's birthday.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog while searching for blogs about loss. Let me first say how sorry I am for yours. I too lost a daughter, my 2nd who would be 5 this year and starting kindergarten today. I know how hard it is when people in your life act as though you don't have a right to feel what you are feeling. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have my own blog for my angel Jenna you are welcome to look at if you'd like jennamarshal.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteKerstin